I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
