Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
