I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
