Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
