This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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