Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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