Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
