At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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