no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
