Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
