please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I need help removing her.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
