He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
