On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
