Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
