It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
