I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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