Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
