Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
