Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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