I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
