I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
