Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
