We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
