I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
