omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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