When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
