whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
