i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
