Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
kristin has been a bad kristin
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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