How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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