Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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