i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
