let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
