david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
