mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
