hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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