Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
