And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
