I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
