We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
