my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
