We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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