I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I think your dad took our porno
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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