what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
