Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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