nut hugger
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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