Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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