Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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