i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
