Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
