You smell like a Billy Joel song
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
