Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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