I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
