D3 body, D1 cock
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
