dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
