I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Sext me about skeletons
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
